Tasselfoot's guide on Bermuda Escape.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
3D Logic 2: Stronghold of Sage Walkthrough
Hello everyone! I'm finally back from vacation and am posting my first piece of work. It's 3d Logic! Again? This newer 3D Logic features a nice calming background, a timer, story, and more puzzle cubes. Ugh. >.< Level 1 Level 2 Level 3 Level 4 Level 5 Level 6 Level 7 Level 8 Level 9 Level 10 Level 11 Level 12 Level 13 Level 14 Level 15 Level 16 Level 17 Level 18 Level 19 Level 20 Level 21 Level 22 Level 23 Level 24 Level 25 Level 26 Level 27 Level 28 Level 29 Level 30
Enjoy your new badge and 30 points!
Play 3D Logic 2 Here!
Enjoy your new badge and 30 points!
Play 3D Logic 2 Here!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Kongregate's Most Wanted (Badges that is...)
Hey, AbusedZebra here. I've done some research, and these are the games that Kongregate wanted to have badges the most. I believe most of them have API so, Greg if you're reading this, give the people what they want!
Pixel: by agame
http://www.kongregate.com/games/agame/pixel
This is a game that I would've chosen. Pixel is a game in which you control your ship to shoot all kinds of baddies. Every time you shoot, you lose HP. Doesn't sound very fun does it? But wait, every time you kill an enemy they release colored pixels everywhere. When you collect these tiny little pixels, they shoot at your enemies and give you more HP. This game starts out relatively easy at first, but as you progress towards the end it gets harder. As you do better in the game, you can unlock new ships that do different things. This is definitely one of my favorite games.
Run Elephant Run: by ArmorGames (jmtb02)
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/run-elephant-run
Run Elephant Run is a fun little game where you are an elephant on a journey from Hollywood to Africa to find your wife. Playing on easy mode will make you feel like a pro at the game, but a you progress to insane mode you will want to smash the keyboard in anger. This is the game you you if you like a challenge.
Tower of Greed: by EpicShadow
http://www.kongregate.com/games/EpicShadow/tower-of-greed
In Tower of Greed you are an um... well I don't know what you are. You are trying to escape the Tower of Greed while getting as much loot as possible. There are two modes in the game: Arcade and Survival. It is always different, so you can keep playing it over and over again and not get bored. This is a really fun game to play when you have some time to kill. I, for one, am addicted to the music.
Rabbit Wants Cake: by ArmorGames (jmtb02)
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/rabbit-wants-cake
In this quite fun and original game you help the little rabbit get cake. It already sounds fun, doesn't it? You have to record your actions without really seeing where your walking session ends. Some levels are quite difficult. There is a lot of trial and error in this game, so I hope you have patience. After completing a level you get a funny little comment. It's just some extra motivation for you to keep on getting that cake.
Little Wheel: by fastgames
http://www.kongregate.com/games/fastgames/little-wheel
The robotic city has lost all power after a disaster in the main power generator. It is now 10,000 years later. You are a robot brought back to life by a lightning strike. Your mission is to bring the city back to life. During your quest to do so, you encounter a wide variety of puzzles. If you're looking to try a game that is different from the rest, play Little Wheel!
Red Remover: by TheGameHomepage
http://www.kongregate.com/games/TheGameHomepage/red-remover
Red Remover was the game that badges were wanted the most on. In this game you have to knock all of the red shapes off of the level while keeping all of the lovely green shapes from falling. There is also blue shapes, but it doesn't matter if they stay or not. But wait, that's not it. There is also four planes of gravity. the way that the shape's face is pointed is the way it will fall. This makes it tricky occasionally. This is a highly recommended game to play if you haven't already.
But now it's time for you to vote! Please take a minute to answer this poll.
Vote in my poll!
Pixel: by agame
http://www.kongregate.com/games/agame/pixel
This is a game that I would've chosen. Pixel is a game in which you control your ship to shoot all kinds of baddies. Every time you shoot, you lose HP. Doesn't sound very fun does it? But wait, every time you kill an enemy they release colored pixels everywhere. When you collect these tiny little pixels, they shoot at your enemies and give you more HP. This game starts out relatively easy at first, but as you progress towards the end it gets harder. As you do better in the game, you can unlock new ships that do different things. This is definitely one of my favorite games.
Run Elephant Run: by ArmorGames (jmtb02)
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/run-elephant-run
Run Elephant Run is a fun little game where you are an elephant on a journey from Hollywood to Africa to find your wife. Playing on easy mode will make you feel like a pro at the game, but a you progress to insane mode you will want to smash the keyboard in anger. This is the game you you if you like a challenge.
Tower of Greed: by EpicShadow
http://www.kongregate.com/games/EpicShadow/tower-of-greed
In Tower of Greed you are an um... well I don't know what you are. You are trying to escape the Tower of Greed while getting as much loot as possible. There are two modes in the game: Arcade and Survival. It is always different, so you can keep playing it over and over again and not get bored. This is a really fun game to play when you have some time to kill. I, for one, am addicted to the music.
Rabbit Wants Cake: by ArmorGames (jmtb02)
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/rabbit-wants-cake
In this quite fun and original game you help the little rabbit get cake. It already sounds fun, doesn't it? You have to record your actions without really seeing where your walking session ends. Some levels are quite difficult. There is a lot of trial and error in this game, so I hope you have patience. After completing a level you get a funny little comment. It's just some extra motivation for you to keep on getting that cake.
Little Wheel: by fastgames
http://www.kongregate.com/games/fastgames/little-wheel
The robotic city has lost all power after a disaster in the main power generator. It is now 10,000 years later. You are a robot brought back to life by a lightning strike. Your mission is to bring the city back to life. During your quest to do so, you encounter a wide variety of puzzles. If you're looking to try a game that is different from the rest, play Little Wheel!
Red Remover: by TheGameHomepage
http://www.kongregate.com/games/TheGameHomepage/red-remover
Red Remover was the game that badges were wanted the most on. In this game you have to knock all of the red shapes off of the level while keeping all of the lovely green shapes from falling. There is also blue shapes, but it doesn't matter if they stay or not. But wait, that's not it. There is also four planes of gravity. the way that the shape's face is pointed is the way it will fall. This makes it tricky occasionally. This is a highly recommended game to play if you haven't already.
But now it's time for you to vote! Please take a minute to answer this poll.
Vote in my poll!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
From the Doctor's Office: Crunchball 3000
So I had been going along working on a review for Rabbit Wants Cake, minding my own business, when, out of no where, brawny, cyborg-esque men in rainbow suits invaded my Kongregate homepage, boasting the chance to win an Xbox as well as The Bigs 2. Really, I've never won anything in my entire life, so I didn't think twice about it and went on playing Rabbit Wants Cake. These flamboyant meat heads weren't pleased. They gave me wet willies, tied me up at recess, and threatened to take me to Principal Stuffedshirt's office if I didn't play ball with them. Thinking of the horrific entendres of the phrase "Play Ball", I was at wits end and had no choice.
I don't remember much about playing Crunchball 3K (By DJStatika) but this is merely a mental trigger caused by whiting out periods of sheer terror from my memory. When I came to, after playing for a few rounds, I woke up with this terrible taste in the back of my throat and the inability to speak English, probably from all the teeth being knocked out and internal brain bleeding. So what exactly made this game so bad? Well, in all honesty, I think a better question would be "What does this game do right?".
Gameplay: 1.5/5 When you first start up Crunchball, you get to do some really fun things, actually. First, you get to name all the players in your team. If you look closely at my screenshot, I named my forward Trent ActionMandible. You also get to choose their individual stats and their team colours, as well as the formation they used in game. This drew me into the game a bit. I couldn't wait to run around a field with guys named Big McLargeHuge and Beef Thighmaster. Unfortunately, they lived up to every expectation I set forth for them and their really comical names. When you pick a formation for your team, first off, they should really warn you that you're really just picking a starting formation. After the initial scramble, your team will be about as organized as a bunch of toddlers on crack and espresso. I guess that's not even a direct metaphor because your entire team lunkers around like they have untied shoes and head trauma. What I really enjoyed was the fact that both teams had goalies with ADD. I could've sworn they were both off picking posies in the locker room as I scored goal after goal, or was being annihilated by the other team. I've also got a huge bone to pick with the rules of this game, but I'll talk about that in the Difficulty section. After you win a round, you get to "Upgrade" your team. There's better boots and weight training to get your team supposedly running faster or passing better. I didn't notice any difference at all from the upgrades. And what's this? If you don't feel sick enough from playing this game, you can use steroids or bribe your opponent. Oh goody! Sports simply aren't sports without chemical enhancement or tossing money around. Never forget that, kids.
Visual: 3/5 Sadly, this is the game's best feature. Maybe you were lucky enough to have one of these things, but Crunchball 3K reminds me of one of those old electric hockey tables from the eighties. You know, the one you had to put about sixty D size batteries into to set it up, and even then it worked like they were only half charged. The characters look like they're cut from scrap cardboard off of a Lucky Charms box (Not to mention that they all look identical), and the lines on the field represented the grooves on that hockey table more than an actual grid. Not that, you know... You actually needed a grid. However, the menus looked nice and were pretty workable. That's why this is such a good stat. As far as visuals go though, I have a hard time addressing lag. Some people have been getting serious lag issues and I can't imagine that making any sports game look pretty.
Audio: 2/5 The opening and menu screens had this great loop that kept reminding me what game I was playing. After hearing "Crunchball Three Thousand" spoken to me endlessly, I rejoiced at the mute feature. The in game music was just as dull and repetitive too. As far as sound effects go, you get this pretty dull "Ooof" noise every time you deck a player in the back of the head. Seeing as how they were dressed, I was expecting "That tickles!~" to come out of the mouth of every player on the opposing teams. Also, is the ball metal? It made this "Clang" noise every time it collided with a wall. No wonder these players have brain damage. If this is what future sports are going to be like, I say we take action now to save the heads of our children.
Difficulty: 1.5/5 Ah, okay, I want to make this clear right now: This game has no rules. There's no goalie's box, meaning that you can stand right next to the goal and shoot, making it ludicrously easy to win, or horrendously hard to defend yourself. Secondly, you can break the spines of players not holding the ball. Angry at how bad this game is? Go take your frustration out on Dean Johnson of the Hell's Rainbow's team until he gives you his lunch money. I swear no one will care, trust me. Finally, the AI is a serious train wreck. It seems like your opponents are being coached by Tom Landry himself and have the tact of a thousand General Tzo's, whereas your team's smartest AI player has the IQ of a cup of Cream of Broccoli soup. So really, it's you versus a bunch of lunk heads that can stop you at a moment's notice and could probably bash your skull in with the ball without the slightest reprimand.
Overall: 2/5 Hit the showers, Crunchball. And make sure you use extra soap. This game would be a heck of a lot better with some finer tuned AI, better looking character sprites, and some sort of rule system. I can't stand sports games that are just like the Thunderdome. Except with Crunchball, it's Twenty men enter, no man leaves.
Ah, finally. Back to Rabbit Wants Cake.
~DoctorAutopsy
Play Crunchball 3000
One final note: I didn't slam this game to get people to stop playing it so that my odds of winning the contest were better. I slammed it because it was a really, really bad game. Play your three career wins and get the hell out of there. Enough said.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Bigs 2 Big Slam Challenge
"Strike three- You're OUT!"
It's been quiet some time since out last loot-challenge, but we're in for a special treat this time! Crunchball 3000 is the game chosen by the sponsor for the loot challenge- in which your goal is to complete 3 campaign games. Aside from the Loot-challenge, this game was given four badges- an easy, two mediums, and one hard.Prizes:
1 Grand Prize winner will receive an X-Box 360 along
and a copy of "The Bigs 2"
4 Runner-Ups will receive a copy of "The Bigs 2"
The Bigs 2:
It’s the last stop. The final destination. The big show. It’s where dreams born in backyards are finally realized. Where the fences are farther. The grandstands are larger. And the spotlight is brighter. It’s where thieves run faster, pitchers throw harder and the sluggers go deeper. Where the bats are bigger, the spikes are sharper and the comebacks are harder to swallow. It’s where home runs are ruthian and fastballs catch fire. It’s where a monster lurks in left. Where bombers terrorize the night. And where the confines aren’t always so friendly. It’s the bigs. And everything about them just got bigger.
Check with the Challenge Rules & Eligibility first.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
15 Totally Bad-ass Collab Submissions
Hey you. Yeah you. You know that weird thing in the forums called the 'collabs'. No? Go to the sleek, black header on Kongregate and go under 'community', there you will find a link to the darn coolest thing since sliced bread. The Kongregate collabs where are artists and developers can share their art and music by submitting it here.
Pretty cool, huh? It gets cooler. Here we'll be going over 15 of the most bad-ass art in the art collabs right now. Sit back and watch as you become less and less manly in proportion to these pictures.
Remember to click the images for full size.
Take note, this is in no order.
by backburner
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/backburner/zombie-slayer?referrer=marh
Ever felt annoyed about something ridiculously small, like not getting enough sleep or being late to something? Yeah, well this girls battling zombies armed with a single base-ball bat. This image is pretty darn cool.
By ZeroOptix
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/ZeroOptix/chimera-blast?referrer=marh
What’s cooler than a fire-breathing snake, or a lion with a second goat head. Oh yeah, maybe a lion/goat with a fire-breathing snake tale?
By Kvlticon
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Kvlticon/after-the-siege-movement-reprise?referrer=marh
A cool war scene, with tremendously awesome detail. The soldiers look like they’re in some serious business.
By Furi0usGe0rge
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Furi0usGe0rge/throat-bleeder?referrer=marh
Basically something you would never want to see in your live ever: A skull with a long, disgusting tongue, and best of all, a spiked mo-hawk.
By BenoHooley
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/BenoHooley/kongai-pirates?referrer=marh
This is where I shamelessly endorse Kongai. Despite being Kongai - which is cool off-the-bat, I think the most badass part of this is that fact that they’re pirates, and pretty cool pirates to say the least.
By Sasms
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Sasms/evil-teddybear?referrer=marh
The thing is, this is not particularly amazing, unless you look at it for a little while. The eyes, the teeth… you’re lying to yourself if you think you don’t want to curl up into fetal position this very second.
By Kashan
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Kashan/votom-attack?sort=by_rating
Yeah, does this even need a description. Look at that amazing detail, any man in this world would pay their right leg for this suite. (I mean, this suite is so awesome it probably comes with a leg for you.)
By Tapersteve
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Tapersteve/venom-speed-painting?referrer=marh
Really, Venom is one of the coolest supervillians, whether or not you like Spider Man. He pretty much makes up for how lame Spider man is and more, and this speed painting does a great job of capturing how awesome - and creepy - he is.
By Hb_Sukima
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Hb_Sukima/exoskeleton-hb?referrer=marh
More “suite-jealousy” right here, this picture is like Transformers, but less lame.
By richpixel
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/richpixel/dot-destroyer-of-timelines?referrer=marh
Oooh, richpixel! I know what you guys are thinking, anyway. “What’s so badass about a stubby robot ball?”, “This is just an attempt to seem witty and clever!”
Yeah, well, cah you destroy timelines? No.
By Deriaz
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Deriaz/the-tank?referrer=marh
The name gives it away. “The Tank”? You’re not going to be in any fights with the name “The Tank” unless your opponent is the Hulk or something. But the Hulk is a wuss compared to The Tank.
By Chalzi
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Chalzi/impaler?referrer=marh
This is about as creepy and disgusting as it gets, and as “creepy and disgusting” is obviously pretty awesome, I had to include this. Next time you’re having a bad day, think about how much worse it could you. You could be being devoured by this thing.
By gabrilandia
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/gabrilandia/sylph?referrer=marh
I think the main reason of why this is considered “bad-ass” is simply because of how absolutely amazing this looks. One of my personal favorites.
By Kvlticon
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Kvlticon/warlord?referrer=marh
One of Kvlticon’s best pieces, and that’s saying quite a bit, as I had to make it a priority to check each image to make sure it wasn’t him, so this article wouldn’t be filled up with images by him. There isn’t much to say about this image, besides it’s tremendous impact, and how much you wish you wanted to have painted that right now.
By Jindo
http://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Jindo/the-mighty-mutant-gopher?referrer=marh
What can beet a giant gopher with boxing gloves, and a pink too-too? This is another one of those images where a description really isn’t needed, because everything bad-ass about this is right in front of you.
Pretty cool, huh? It gets cooler. Here we'll be going over 15 of the most bad-ass art in the art collabs right now. Sit back and watch as you become less and less manly in proportion to these pictures.
Remember to click the images for full size.
Take note, this is in no order.
#15 Zombie Slayer
by backburnerhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/backburner/zombie-slayer?referrer=marh
Ever felt annoyed about something ridiculously small, like not getting enough sleep or being late to something? Yeah, well this girls battling zombies armed with a single base-ball bat. This image is pretty darn cool.
#14 Chimera Blast!
By ZeroOptixhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/ZeroOptix/chimera-blast?referrer=marh
What’s cooler than a fire-breathing snake, or a lion with a second goat head. Oh yeah, maybe a lion/goat with a fire-breathing snake tale?
#13 After The Siege Movement
By Kvlticonhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Kvlticon/after-the-siege-movement-reprise?referrer=marh
A cool war scene, with tremendously awesome detail. The soldiers look like they’re in some serious business.
#12 Throat Bleeder
By Furi0usGe0rgehttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Furi0usGe0rge/throat-bleeder?referrer=marh
Basically something you would never want to see in your live ever: A skull with a long, disgusting tongue, and best of all, a spiked mo-hawk.
#11 Kongai Pirates
By BenoHooleyhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/BenoHooley/kongai-pirates?referrer=marh
This is where I shamelessly endorse Kongai. Despite being Kongai - which is cool off-the-bat, I think the most badass part of this is that fact that they’re pirates, and pretty cool pirates to say the least.
#10 Evil Teddy bear (a.k.a. “JESUS CHRIST IT’S EATING MY FACE OFF”)
By Sasmshttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Sasms/evil-teddybear?referrer=marh
The thing is, this is not particularly amazing, unless you look at it for a little while. The eyes, the teeth… you’re lying to yourself if you think you don’t want to curl up into fetal position this very second.
#9 Votom Attack
By Kashanhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Kashan/votom-attack?sort=by_rating
Yeah, does this even need a description. Look at that amazing detail, any man in this world would pay their right leg for this suite. (I mean, this suite is so awesome it probably comes with a leg for you.)
#8 Venom
By Taperstevehttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Tapersteve/venom-speed-painting?referrer=marh
Really, Venom is one of the coolest supervillians, whether or not you like Spider Man. He pretty much makes up for how lame Spider man is and more, and this speed painting does a great job of capturing how awesome - and creepy - he is.
#7 Exoskeleton
By Hb_Sukimahttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Hb_Sukima/exoskeleton-hb?referrer=marh
More “suite-jealousy” right here, this picture is like Transformers, but less lame.
#6 Dot Destroyer of Timelines
By richpixelhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/richpixel/dot-destroyer-of-timelines?referrer=marh
Oooh, richpixel! I know what you guys are thinking, anyway. “What’s so badass about a stubby robot ball?”, “This is just an attempt to seem witty and clever!”
Yeah, well, cah you destroy timelines? No.
#5 The Tank
By Deriazhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Deriaz/the-tank?referrer=marh
The name gives it away. “The Tank”? You’re not going to be in any fights with the name “The Tank” unless your opponent is the Hulk or something. But the Hulk is a wuss compared to The Tank.
#4 Impaler
By Chalzihttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Chalzi/impaler?referrer=marh
This is about as creepy and disgusting as it gets, and as “creepy and disgusting” is obviously pretty awesome, I had to include this. Next time you’re having a bad day, think about how much worse it could you. You could be being devoured by this thing.
#3 Sylph (a.k.a. “Flying Sky Dragon of Awesomeness”)
By gabrilandiahttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/gabrilandia/sylph?referrer=marh
I think the main reason of why this is considered “bad-ass” is simply because of how absolutely amazing this looks. One of my personal favorites.
#2 Warlord
By Kvlticonhttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Kvlticon/warlord?referrer=marh
One of Kvlticon’s best pieces, and that’s saying quite a bit, as I had to make it a priority to check each image to make sure it wasn’t him, so this article wouldn’t be filled up with images by him. There isn’t much to say about this image, besides it’s tremendous impact, and how much you wish you wanted to have painted that right now.
#1 The Mighty Mutant Gopher
By Jindohttp://www.kongregate.com/collabs/art/Jindo/the-mighty-mutant-gopher?referrer=marh
What can beet a giant gopher with boxing gloves, and a pink too-too? This is another one of those images where a description really isn’t needed, because everything bad-ass about this is right in front of you.
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