From the Doctor's Office: Crush The Castle

The rise of civilization is an interesting thing. Humans build castles to the skies and feel safe within their sacred halls. They shut out the rest of the world to live in 'peace'. Little do they know, that giant trebuchets usually get built up nearby castles. Trebuchets with rocks and bombs that smash and maim. Crush The Castle (By the fine folks at ArmorGames) dives right into this age old Trebuchet/Castle rivalry by giving the player command of a fine catapult. The object is simple: "Destroy all Humans, leave no trace!". Simply put, you get to smash and kill. Great fun for the stressed out working man, which I very much am. So let's take a look at the prides and pitfalls of this interesting game.

Gameplay: 4.5/5 What could be more fun than smashing a building with a medieval weapon? You'll get new ammo for your trebuchet as you progress through the game, which keeps things fresh. Though, you don't necessarily need to go back and use the older ammo, though. In most cases, three large boulders or bombs is all you'll need, once you get there. But as the levels go by, you'll be glad you're getting better ammo. Essentially, this game plays like the opposite of Perfect Balance; toppling instead of balancing. Once you get a good hit, the castle will crumble and crush its inhabitants. This makes for great replay value as well. Since shooting is as simple as two mouse clicks, you'll come back for more and more. Another thing I need to nod about is the games "Build your own castle" feature. Make irritating ones for your friends to struggle with. They'll love you for it. Sadly, though, this game didn't save my progress. I had started it before it got badges, so I had to start over.

Visual: 4/5 It's no Renaissance Fair, but it's pretty close. The Royalty look a little fuzzy, to be honest. But that's no big deal; they're soon to be worm food. Castle pieces look like real drift wood and mortar. The pride and joy of this game, however is the trebuchet itself. It looks amazing as it slowly slings boulders at the castle. The background of each castle cycles between different times of day. Sometimes you'll be flinging rocks at night, and other times in the mid morning. There's nothing wrong with how Crush The Castle looks, but everything can be improved upon. I guess it just didn't really seem 5/5 worthy. Can I make that claim or am I poor reviewer if I say that?

Audio: 4/5 Crush the Castle has no music in game. This is for a reason, trust me. You don't want anything masking the blood curtling screams of the people you're smashing. After you pass/fail a level, you get a small fanfare of horns, however. That's always great. This game has a mute feature, so you're free to not listen to the painful cries of the Royalty. Some panflute music would've really made this game shine though. Music sets the mood for any game, when it gets down to it.

Difficulty: 4/5 I had hardly any issues with beating this game. It had to have been one of the easier games I've played on Kong in a long while, really. Some levels can be passed with one good stone hit. Later on though, there are frustrating levels. The castle will fall and completely shroud a human from getting hit. So you'll have to start over again and try to hit the castle in a different way. And when it comes to difficulty of beating the game as a whole, I felt it was too short. I would absolutely love to see a player pack for this game. I'm sure Crush the Castle has lots of sadistic players. So lets see your castles. Bring it on! I'm up for a challenge!

Overall: 4.5/5 I have high standards, really. So when I say a game is good, It's GOOD. Crush the Castle is a great passtime for some points and a card. You'll love flinging boulders and afterward, you can go back and make your own. It's also really fun to play the first few levels with the cluster bomb. So in summation: Play Crush The Castle. Make your friends play Crush The Castle. Love Crush The Castle.

This game is great for you Sonny 2 players in need of a break. Take some time off of Sonny 2 to smack up some kings and queens. You'll love the change of pace.

I'm still needing to finish that game, but look for a review of it soon. It's the sequel to one of the finest games on Kong, so I'll be doing it justice.

~DoctorAutopsy

Kong Score: 4.01/5

Play Crush The Castle